C’est moi. Engulfed by laughter. How it always blasts from the deepest part of my gut and up my belly, breaking through my two big front teeth. It’s the only thing I ever let out. The only truest expression that I cannot contain, even if I tried.
My pain escapes me in a laugh. A shot ha followed by a sigh. Distressed? A slight smirk will form as I press my lips together to let out the air that’s attempting to suffocate me. I’ll laugh even when I’m being mean. Mostly. And when I’m sad — terrorized by the pitfalls of life— that’s when the biggest symphonies of laughter make their way through.
But my god how I have adoration for the laughs that produce tears that will not cease. They grow louder with each attempt to simmer down its notes. There’s also the laughs of relief after a really good cry. The laughter that is to say: now, now that wasn’t so bad. Life will continue, there will be more laughs to have.